On July 20, nearby mother Diana Louie volunteered to give a digital library presentation, moderated by Northside Library’s Department Manager Cheryl Lee, titled “Simple and Intentional Parenting.” About 130 members logged into the Zoom meeting. Rivermark Moms, the Las Madres Playgroup and the Santa Clara Town Library Basis and Close friends sponsored the occasion.
A resident of Santa Clara doing the job in Silicon Valley, Louie has 3 children with her spouse — two sons, 17 and 14, and a single daughter, 10.
The non-existence of best parenting, the alternative not to evaluate oneself to some others, and the adherence to individual values have been steady messages in Louie’s speak.
“Parenting is not effortless,” Louie stated. “In Silicon Valley, there is societal tension to keep up with the Joneses. We individually are not anxious with what the Joneses are carrying out. Our goal is to maintain up with our personal values.
“With social media, parents can feel a ton of force from what they see their friends carrying out for their little ones, this sort of as the Pinterest-best birthday get-togethers and high priced presents,” Louie continued. “The objective of my communicate is to share some tools to enable mothers and fathers deliberately align their actions and phrases with their own values.”
Louie is informed of the guilt some moms and dads sense about no matter whether they are executing ample for their small children. She pointed out that little ones have incredibly basic desires — food stuff, apparel, shelter, and caring grownups, which Louie’s mom and dad experienced furnished for her.
“I grew up in San Francisco with minimal-earnings immigrant mothers and fathers who didn’t discuss English,” Louie said. “As a boy or girl, that was difficult for me and from time to time even uncomfortable. Back again then, there were being matters I wished I could do, like acquire artwork or audio lessons and go on vacations. I would not want my mom and dad to sense guilty for what they weren’t capable to present for me. Our restricted family members sources gave me the precious reward of gratitude.”
According to Louie, she is a minimalist, and she and her household price shared activities about materials goods.
“Something that surprises our pals is that we don’t obtain our young children gifts — no birthday or Christmas gifts, and no souvenirs,” Louie mentioned. “Instead, we present them with activities. In lieu of product presents, our custom is that just about every birthday boy or girl, parents bundled, gets to strategy their day. They opt for the action they want to do and what they want to take in. Setting up their entire working day helps make them feel unique and empowered.”
Louie and her partner also benefit communicating with their little ones when they shell out time alongside one another.
“Many of our parenting strategies stem from insights shared by our small children all through our monthly one-on-a single dates,” Louie said. “Our dates are very simple and affordable. We might go on a wander with ice-cream, play catch, climb a tree, go on a picnic with boba drinks or have lunch and meal together.”
“The greatest takeaway for me was to employ an once-a-year household organizing session with my partner to talk about our relatives values, goals and associations,” reported Ilana Lam, a mum or dad who attended Louie’s presentation.